YOUNG PEOPLE.
Bad Relationships
Anyone can find themselves in a relationship that isn’t healthy. Relationships can be confusing. Even when you feel happy, they could do things that you feel uncomfortable with.
Spotting the signs of an unhealthy relationship
Ten signs of an unhealthy relationship
Here’s 10 signs of an unhealthy relationship:
• They’re jealous – We all get a bit a jealous, but the problem is when they try and control you because of it. Are they getting upset when you get a text? Do they look through your phone? Are they really suspicious?
• They’re manipulating you – It’s not always easy to spot, but do they ignore you until they get what they want? Do they try and get in your good books with gifts, and are always apologising?
• They’re isolating you– Do they get annoyed if you don’t spend all your time with them and want to spend time with your friends? Do they make you question your family and friends. Are you becoming reliant on their money, or even their attention?
• Making you feel bad, but then saying it’s a joke – It’s not on if they make rude comments about you or your family, including what you look like. Even if they say it’s a joke it’s not funny.
• Threatening to make you look bad – They could start rumour, or threat to share private information about you, or even stop you getting things done, like school work.
• Making you feel guilty – Making you feel like everything’s your fault, and their happiness relies on you. They could threaten to hurt themselves if you don’t stay with them. Do they guilt you into having sex?
• They fly off the handle – Are you walking on eggshells because they might go off on one. Does it make you feel frightened?
• Acting differently around people - Do they act differently with other people than when they’re with you?
• They don’t accept the blame for their behaviour - They blame you, or blame something else, like mental health problems or what’s happened to them before. It makes you feel guilty.
It’s not your fault if this happens to you
People who exploit relationships are very clever in the way they do it.They often make you feel that it’s your fault, or what they are asking you to do is a normal part of a relationship, when it isn’t.
Listen to yourself. If it feels wrong, it usually is.
There are lots of people that can help you.
Tell someone you trust.
Have sex when you don’t really want to
Thinking that lots of other people are doing it shouldn’t be a reason to start having sex. Don’t be pressured into it.
Are any of these happening to you in your relationship?
Check Disrespect NoBody to check if you’re in an unhealthy relationship.Sexual relationship abuse
They may try to gain your trust by:
• Giving you lots of attention, and introducing a load of new people to you – especially if you’re feeling low or don’t have a great home life• Introducing an older girl or boy to you to make friends, but actually they’re part of the gang that abuses people
• Giving you alcohol or drugs
• Talking to you a lot over social media and paying you a lot of compliments
They make you feel that you owe them in return, or make you feel threatened or scared, so that you feel that you have no choice but to:
• Have sex or do something sexual with them or with others• Taking sexual images
• Looking at sexual pictures or watching them do something sexual
When things can get even worse - Trafficking
You are being exploited if someone does any of the following things:
• Forces you to work day and night• Stops you from having contact with others
• Threatens you or your family
• Control what you do everyday
• Sends you to different locations to grow or sell drugs
• Pressures you to take part in activities such as begging, shoplifting or pick pocketing
• Traps you into debt
Stop the Traffik
Look at these leaflets to check out more ways.
Keeping safe
Ways to keep and stay safe out and about
- Stick with mates a similar age to you – a good mate won’t ask you to do stuff you’re uncomfortable with
- If you feel you can’t say no, ask yourself: ‘Am I in a safe situation?’
- If someone offers you something for free, ask what they want in return
- Listen to your body – a fast, pounding heartbeat and churning stomach are signs you feel unsafe
- Be careful what personal details – including photos – you give out
- Make sure you know where you are going and how to get home. Have credit and charge on your phone
- Make sure someone you trust always knows where you are
- Drinking and taking drugs can make you unaware of unsafe situations and you can become a target for people who may hurt you
Keeping safe online
- Don’t post any personal information online – like your address, email address or mobile number
- Think carefully before posting pictures or videos of yourself. Once you’ve put a picture of yourself online most people can see it and may be able to download it, it’s not just yours anymore
- Don’t befriend people you don’t know
- Don’t meet up with people you’ve met online. Speak to your parent or carer about people suggesting you do
- Be careful what personal details – including photos – you give out
- Keep your privacy settings as high as possible
- Never give out your passwords
- If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or worried: leave the website, turn off your computer if you want to and tell a trusted adult immediately
About Sexting
The impact of sexting
Think before sending a photo:
• Your photo could go anywhere - Once you press send, it is no longer in your control. It can be posted anywhere on the internet. It could end up on social networking sites or even porn sites.• Anyone could see it - Don’t send anything you wouldn’t want your parents, teachers or friends seeing. Even if you completely trust someone, other people using their phone might accidently see it.
• Beware screenshotting - Even if you use a webcam or an app like Snapchat, the person can take a screen shot in seconds.
• People may not want your image - If you want to impress somebody, you can do it in other ways. In most cases, sexting can have the opposite effect and you could be seen as somebody you’re not.
Dealing with someone who asks for naked photos:
• If someone’s trying to get you to send them naked images of yourself, download the Zipit app to keep the situation in control. Zipit features a number of flirty and amusing comebacks to help you stay in control of your chat game.• You can also ask them to stop, and if they are making you upset or bothering you then you should consider blocking them – even if it’s just for a bit.
• If an adult is making you uncomfortable by asking for naked images then this could be serious. They could be attempting to exploit you. Consider talking to someone you trust, talking confidentially to the NSPCC on the phone, or reporting the incident .
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